Susanne, 45 years, works in the administration of a large city. Across departments, there should be more team work. The results of their observation to more and more conflicts. She herself feels from the dominant colleagues threatened. She wants to know: “there Are strategies for dealing with such Alphas? How can I assert myself?”
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Svenja Hofert is a career and management coach and has written more than 35 books, including “Agile” and “career System”.
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Hofert answers: The advantages of team work is obvious: A group can be more intelligent than the sum of the individual members. However, The more team work the focus of the company is focusing on, and working displaced, the more human the world of work. With all the consequences, because human is also: emotional.
Who was able to hide so far behind his knowledge, and now with a challenging communicative situations and then has to do with Alphas or lazy employees.
In such cases, the right of communication. But, unfortunately, communication ability, and empathy is not supported neither in school nor in studies and especially in the world of work. Someone here has a defect that manifests itself in a lack of conflict readiness, fear of Feedback and criticism, as well as the dominance of Status and Ego and, of course, in the consequent ruthlessness.
What can you do when its own red lines are crossed?
A simple, General recipe, there is not, but a good tip is to say “no” and “stop”. Imagine a boundary around themselves. As soon as you enter their territory, it is important to protect these. Say what your need is and what you perceive. “I feel you run over and want to have time to Think.”
kind of clarity goes some, however, hard on the lips. Susanne should therefore develop the ability to face difficult situations. Anyone who wants to communicate effectively, you must perceive once itself and its own needs clear: What is happening with me in a Situation I feel uncomfortable? How do I behave? What emotions play a role? You think of basic emotions such as fear, sadness, joy, curiosity, or uncertainty as a Form of fear.
There are the following human response patterns: Some flee and go the Situation out of the way. Others fight and try to defeat the other. And then there is the pattern of those who stalk and from the actual subject. All of these patterns in an exaggerated and a healthy Form. On an exaggerated Form of a one-sided and always the same, as well as the Situation of inappropriate behavior indicates.
Sure you will know your pattern here. Now ask yourself: What is a different, an alternative behavior would be? Give it a try.
Then, in the other’s shoes and their perspective. Who is doing this, you will learn a lot of interesting people. What comes as a dominance behaviour, therefore, emerges, on closer examination, for example, as a fear.
Who develops his personality, you must start thinking about yourself and others to think about and some of the cherished Beliefs overboard, or revise. Who is doing this, often loses provisionally a piece of supposed safety. This is a personal change, which means the step out of the comfort zone. However, in the stretching zone behind it, you learn the most.
still, the principle applies, however, in many places, that self-reflection is a weakness. In fact, it leads to strength – if not from today to tomorrow. Employees or executives will be happier and better, if you lose the fear of criticism, and this rather offensive claim.