David Buss’s book delves into human mating strategies
Although they are the same species from the same planet, men and women are so different, which prompts some to say that the former came from Mars while the latter came from Venus.
There have been many attempts to explain why, and here is a very good one. David Buss’s 2003 classic “The Evolution of Desire” claims that the differences have an evolutionary origin.
David Buss, the U.S. evolutionary psychologist, delves into human sex differences in mate selection. He is dubbed as one of the founders of evolutionary psychology.
He tries to explain infidelity, physical attractiveness, orgasm, and all other mating strategies of both genders in terms of evolutionary advantages.
His basic view: what a woman wants is a stable supply of economic resources from a man, while what a man wants is the reduced paternal uncertainty in a relationship with an attractive partner.
“A woman’s happiness increases when the man brings more economic resources to the union and shows kindness, affection, and commitment,” Buss writes.
“A man’s happiness increases when the woman is more physically attractive than he is, and when she shows kindness, affection, and commitment.”
The author also points out that such a difference also pops out in other areas.
“Most women are unwilling to settle for men who are less educated, less intelligent, and less professionally successful than they are,” he notes.
“Men are less exacting on precisely these dimensions, choosing to prioritize youth and appearance. Women who make more money than their husbands tend to leave them.”
In conclusion, Buss claims that we have to look into our evolutionary past to better understand the family of our species.
“To maximize the chances of preserving a long-term bond, couples would do well to remain faithful; produce children together; secure ample economic resources; act kind, generous, and understanding; and attend to their mate’s sexual and emotional desires,” he says.
“These actions do not guarantee a successful relationship, but they increase the odds substantially.”