a Lot of nice people, music, and a little to much Gin At a Party last December, began to Lea an affair with Jonas. At the beginning, it was wonderfully uncomplicated. Then your WhatsApp-messages are always loving, its getting shorter and shorter and the intervals between them longer.
The thinking went: A "nice talking to you yesterday. See you soon…" is actually meant to be nice? The three dots at the end are certainly a longing to be Expected for the next meeting? And the obscene how tight "I need you again soon" after two weeks of radio silence is undoubtedly a Signal that I’m important to him?
Interpretation has to do with the own view of the world
outsider would immediately judge: No Chance, has no serious interest. But Leah’s brain a kind of amorous rampage that many people in a similar Form already have experienced started. "When we fell in love with someone or someone is important, we will interpret a lot of in the Written in", explains psychologist and Couple therapist Alexandra Hartmann.
Interpretation, the psychologist, is always Personal, and has to do with the own view of the world. Whether we tend to draw positive or negative conclusions, depends on our Desires, longings and Fears: "We are always looking for confirmation of what we suspect", says Hartmann. "we Often sway back and forth: We see only positive signs, then we doubt again. A short text message can plunge us into a rollercoaster of emotions."
The less information, the more room for speculation
The mean of scarce WhatsApp-messages: The less information I get, the more room I have for wild speculation. If, according to secret meanings in the set of characters is searched for, and even Emojis will be placed on the gold scale, it is even more difficult: "Three points at the end of a sentence is a load of quasi-Interpretation. And it is not at all clear what is the meaning of a Smiley", says the psychologist. The danger, completely wrong to lie, was therefore all the greater.
No wonder that Lea went one way, the most desperate souls take: she turned to her friends, asked for "reading". As a confirmation of the fact that the permanent Trust has only to do with Jonas is very busy right now. And, as before, great find.
friendships you should not Helped excessive strain
it has not much, because the more people are involved in the interpretation of a message, the more point of view, there are ways – which often means that it comes closer to the truth. Hartmann says: "I think that the opinion can help from the outside, but I have to stay in the end, my last instance." It’s always good to remember to keep as objective as possible a view angle. And not to stress the friendships overly.
Because most of us know how exhausting it can be to be constantly seeking advice. The psychologist advises to raise any false hopes: "To say 'Oh,' is not a friendship. I would a good friend – of course, if possible, gently say: 'Look, I don’t think, really wants what you'." Here, the Digital-to-subscribe to Newsletter
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to get A basket, always hurts
honesty could hurt, bring but in the end, both sides. Part of it also, it out in the open, if one is annoyed: "You should be able to say: 'We have spoken so often about it and I can’t sit down now apart. I am of the opinion: put a pin in it'.", says Hartmann.
to get A basket always hurts. But to put a hook, without a personal statement and not accept to get an answer to everything, is especially hard. "This also has something to do with letting go of what is for many people very difficult, because it means uncertainty", explains the psychologist. "control of a certain kind of security."
Lea finally tried this control to regain, by asking for a phone interview and Jonas to speech. In the meantime he had met another woman and literally tried to drag himself slowly out of the affair. A pity that this level of Information only between the lines. New mobile phone tariff? Now In the save with the coupons from Congstar