“have We met in Erlangen, Germany. Manuela worked as a product Manager at a pharmaceutical company, I had just done my first exam. In 1996 our first son came on Leave to the world, and because I was with my combination of subjects English and history, there are few opportunities for employment as a teacher, we exchanged the roles.
Manuela began after six months to work full-time. I took care of our child and worked at the same time from Wednesday to Friday, 150 kilometers away in the upper Franconian Hof as a teacher in part-time. When Manuela was on multi-day conferences, I took Leave in the school. We rode the train around four in the morning. He was about one and a half years old.
I had Leave during the day with the hotel Manager, or asked colleagues: ‘do you Have a free hour? Could you just watch him?’ He often sat in the back on the wall in the class room with his bottle and looked up to address me. For me, the Hyper was stress, my upper level students went for a professional. The school Board accepted it, she was glad that I took the pregnancy representation.
avant-gardist in the sand box
Manuela got the offer to go for a Job in Sweden. After two years of back to Bavaria, then back to Sweden, Greece, Munich, Germany – we moved as a family several times. In between, I was three times per half a year, a single parent, because it is because of my job, or the children’s school better for all of us was not to live there, where Manuela was working.
in particular, the financial dependence was for me. We men grow up with the idea that we need to be able to feed a family. Let him go, it was hard for me. Also, the loss of independence has been on my mind for a long time. Some friends from earlier today are lawyers or Doctors and get a new car or a motorcycle to buy, without having to ask their wives. This is not for me. If my content would disappear, would notice.
I’m fine with my role. If I drive a fancy car, I’ll let all of you know that it is my wife’s car. In the nineties, I felt as avant-garde in order to be the only man in the sand box.
“What’s this guy doing on my Couch?”
It also had a downside: I had little connection. Two mothers with small children to go as often as you like together for coffee. That was denied me. I was in the same role, but still isolated. When I sat with a friend with a child at home in the living room, her husband asked, at the latest, when the third Time: ‘What is the guy doing on my Couch?’
Or I called in the morning at half past nine with a neighbor to meet me. Her husband took off. Then radio silence and confusion reigned only a short time. I don’t look like George Clooney, but I’m in daylight, and therefore a potential offender.
Both men as well as women said to me: ‘Thomas, super, class, what are you doing. But that is not possible.’ Their Argument is always that the man earns more. But I have often noticed that the want to both pages also different.
housework is a Sisyphean task: To bring the children to the nursery, clean the apartment, go shopping, the child brings a friend home, then everything is a mess again. And in the evening, the Partner asks: ‘What did you actually do all day?’
women Also need to learn what it means to earn more
conversely, women have a bigger Problem in order to take over economic responsibility. This is not enshrined in their Thinking at all. When I ask my high school graduates, two out of ten boys can ‘have a family to feed. In 20 years, I heard yet from any girl.
I was ten years of substitute teachers and secondary school teachers, which I took, and Yes, even well-paying Jobs had, were all with top doctors, notaries, or judges, earned also well. I wonder why women look so often Partner material at least at eye level.
men have to accept that when women earn more – but, conversely, women’s what goes with it should accept it, as well. If the man would expect in a Restaurant that the woman pays the bill, would find that many of my female friends funny, also if you have the better content.
We know a couple: Both of them have highly paid Jobs in the medical industry. As the first child came, she said tough to him: ‘Now you have to provide me.’ Since he had ran. It would be nice if it is equal this is done properly, but also to the women.
“My career behind
was not easy for me,” Our sons are now 17 and 22 years old and you have never asked why we were different. You have seen how mum is and what she needs. If you are on vacation, it starts after one and a half weeks of a project, because she is bored. They restructured the kitchen or the cellar, or shingles of wood. It can also be exhausting when she is home. She just has a lot of energy. Your tenacity is quite extraordinary.
Manuela is 1.63 meters tall and it is physically difficult for you, in the men’s pharmaceutical industry-dominated to enforce. It has annoyed me how often she was not taken seriously, and it was my personal ambition to see you ascend. They went in with so much ambition and energy to their work. Initially as a product Manager you put on, for example, the website for the whole company. It would have been a man, would you like after that three levels high, but was fobbed off with a praise.
in 2007, I was employed at a secondary school in Erlangen-resistant and would perhaps have been yet established. But we had the opportunity to go to Sweden again. I stand behind the decision to Manuela to Sweden followed, because it was for the family the Best. But it was still not easy, my own career aspirations behind.
What family-friendliness is concerned, Sweden was a quantum leap into the future. There, both parents work and share the upbringing of the children. The state has created the infrastructure to ensure that it is possible to leave the child at seven in the morning.
As we went in 2002, back to Germany, I felt like in the middle ages. I fed it to stand twelve o’clock on a Park bench in Herzogenaurach, Germany, my son, and the people stayed to watch. In the Restaurant the waitress asked me: ‘Where is the mother?’ I replied: ‘The works.’
If women really want to be successful, you need to bring the dominance, ambition and meticulousness. It is a challenge for the man, so, if you live in the family. Manuela writes me exactly what I should do in the household. This could be humiliating, but we have become with the years a well-coordinated Team, it doesn’t bother me.
I’m still a simple school teacher for German, history and social studies, I have done so in this sense not a career. But I have all forms of school and a lot of different approaches to Education experienced, which helps me a lot in my work. And my students don’t care if I’m a secondary school teacher or not, as long as I can explain the material well.”
Further reports of men successful women you will find in this book:
DISPLAY Vanessa Conin-Ohnsorge, Martina Lackner, Angelika Weinländer-Mölders:
men on the side of successful women
Side-by-Side to the top
Haufe publishing; 198 pages; 29,95 Euro.