pain Anne Weber* pushes your child out of himself. As his shoulders rotate from your abdomen, it has hardly any power. The delivery room light is shining directly on her face, it smells musty, old leather sofa, wood, disinfectants.

Anne’s husband, Florian* through the umbilical separates cord, a midwife takes the child, cradling it.

It is the 8. March 2014, 7.05 PM in the delivery room of the University medical center Mannheim. In the 36. Pregnancy week Anne Weber has given birth to a girl. 47cm long and 1740g easily. The child is dead.

***

One of the Ludwigshafen suburb, here are the Webers to live. Well-kept gardens, the grass is trimmed short, a school is right next door. Here are the cars driving slowly, Parking in a straight line in front of the Sidewalk.

In the summer of 2013 is Anne Weber in the fourth week pregnant. The Baby is intimately desired, the couple blessed.

The ultrasound confirmed: The Embryo is well. However, in the investigation in the 11. Week of pregnancy, the gynecologist hesitates for a Moment. “There’s something wrong,” she says.

Anne Weber, 32, gets scared. A familiar feeling, constantly afraid of doing something wrong, fear of not being good enough. For years, she suffers from depression.

A few days later, the couple is waiting in a clinic for prenatal diagnosis to the doctor. It measures in the ultrasound, the neck wrinkles, transparency, a fluid accumulation in the neck area of the baby. The is significantly increased. Thus, the probability that the child suffers from a trisomy, a genetic disorder that increases.

It sounds as if a rubber was torn, as the needle through the abdominal wall stands out

The Weber opt for an amniocentesis. Anne Weber reads in Internet forums about children with Chromosomal abnormalities, and about how her life with a disabled child would change. Always new information, new hopes. You are looking for inclusive kindergartens in Ludwigshafen, Germany. She approaches the thought of the nursery instead of with toys with medical devices.

17.In October 2013, a tray with instruments is Anne Weber’s outstretched thighs, Florian holds your Hand.

On the Monitor, you see how the girl kicking in her belly. Anne listens as the Doctor tears open the packaging, the syringe in the half-dark.

A mm diameter of the needle. Anne Weber, a goldsmith, a Millimeter is, that’s not tiny. Days prior to the examination, you looked at in the shop is the One-Millimeter drill bit.

panic was rising in her. A sharp pain in the abdomen, the Doctor will stick a needle in your belly, a noise, a rubber was ripped. Anne Weber, winces, screams, rips the knees to the belly. The tablet falls clattering to the floor. Senior physician and assistant are trying to push your legs back on the couch, Florian speaks to you. Anne calms down, the Doctor presses the needle deeper in the abdomen and removes the amniotic fluid.

The proceeds at the end of call

Three weeks, the couple is waiting for the outcome of the investigation. Anne Weber has just felt for the first Time, how your child moves. You want to keep it, no matter what.

On 8. November, the received a phone call that The child is genetically “inconspicuous”. By Christmas, the couple is enjoying the pregnancy. Next year, they would celebrate with a Baby.

28. Week of pregnancy , the new year is still fresh. The detailed diagnosis of the organs is unremarkable. In the 30. Week, the gynecologist notes that the child is too easy. You shall pay to Weber at the University medical center Mannheim. There specialists are looking for possible causes for the under-weight, but no. Anne Weber gets injection on the lung maturation of the child, so that it can breathe on her own, if an earlier cesarean section would be necessary.

A week later, a further ultrasound follow – and Doppler search narrow. The doctor measures the blood flow to the uterus and the blood flow between the child and the placenta, is sufficient to supply the child with nutrients is important. There are no abnormal findings, no reference to viruses, bacteria or parasites.

Each Time something Bad is excluded, it falls to the Weber’s as a load of the shoulders. “We never had the feeling, the life of our girl would be in the game,” says Anne Weber later.

*name changed by the editors

1 | 2 | 3 more 1. Part: silence in the belly of 2. Part: The Baby is to small 3. Part: “I couldn’t leave you alone